ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
I can't escape my ghetto heart;
my Gestapo thoughts guard me
when I touch a new girl's face.
I can look out through the camp fence
and see a world without you,
but I'm too hungry to even move.
A kiss of another's lips is poison,
showering down, drowning me
because they taste different than your softness.
The ashen remains of my love
bury me, covering me over
and keeping me away from victory.
We will not end in a bombshell;
there is no Geneva Convention.
You are forever my conqueror.
my Gestapo thoughts guard me
when I touch a new girl's face.
I can look out through the camp fence
and see a world without you,
but I'm too hungry to even move.
A kiss of another's lips is poison,
showering down, drowning me
because they taste different than your softness.
The ashen remains of my love
bury me, covering me over
and keeping me away from victory.
We will not end in a bombshell;
there is no Geneva Convention.
You are forever my conqueror.
Under the under, I just wanted her. -- Willow, Goddesses And Monsters, Buffy Season Eight
© 2010 - 2024 wildmonky
Comments10
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
this was great! i only have two suggestions:
1. continue the WWII references throughout and eschew others--WWII is MUCH stronger imagery, and when you're juxtaposing it with love, it's very powerful. The other images are distracting. (really I'm only talking about one stanza, but if you chose to expand this poem, that would be my advice)
2. The last line is a little unclear: "You are forever my conquer" did you mean conquerer or conquest? It's a great ending line either way--it's like a punch in the face in the best possible sense.
If you re-tool this, let me know.
cheers!
1. continue the WWII references throughout and eschew others--WWII is MUCH stronger imagery, and when you're juxtaposing it with love, it's very powerful. The other images are distracting. (really I'm only talking about one stanza, but if you chose to expand this poem, that would be my advice)
2. The last line is a little unclear: "You are forever my conquer" did you mean conquerer or conquest? It's a great ending line either way--it's like a punch in the face in the best possible sense.
If you re-tool this, let me know.
cheers!