Just got off the phone with my mom. She tells me, "you know how i'm getting fast internet?"I tell her, um, no? She says, "oh, i didn't tell you we're getting vonage?" No, you didn't. "Oh, well we are." But Mom, the only option for fast internet is satellite (cos she lives in the country). What device are you using to get fast internet? "I don't know how it works, the phone service is through vonage and the internet is through verizon.

(I silently die a little bit at this point.)

She goes on to say, "but i need your password to install the internet." I give her my password and Windows tells her she doesn't have the right privileges to install new hardware. So I talk her through logging on to my account cos i'm administrator on her computer. I tell her to do whatever she did to make the install new hardware message come up.

She says she just pressed "start". I ask her if there's any device that she plugged into the computer. She says, no "it's in the mail. They're coming Tuesday." I ask her, so what exactly are you trying to hook up? She repeats that it's in the mail. I ask her, specifically if she has ANYthing from Vonage yet. She doesn't.

Sigh.

Ok, then I have no idea what's going on with the computer, just click cancel or OK or the little X. She does. Then she says, "ok to check my email, i go to firefox, to mozilla...nothing's coming up." I tell her, Mom, you need to connect to the internet first. "Oh! How do I...oh, so I go here and here and...it's doing the thing where it just tries to dial and dial." Mom, you need to hook up the phone line to the computer. You need to hang up. "Oh! Oh! I love you, bye!" I love you too, bye.

RARGH!